I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
