theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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