i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
