going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
