atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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