no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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