we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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