Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize