my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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