I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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