So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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