bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize