Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My feet surprised me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
