he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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