I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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