i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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