Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
