hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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