So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
