you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
