I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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