So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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