I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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