You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
dude. I can hear the air.
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