I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
