What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
