aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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