is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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