Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
