Don't make out with my wife yet
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
