Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
