I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
