real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize