yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
