If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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