i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
