You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
