I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
