i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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