i think i have herpe
just one?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
