how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize