I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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