ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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