I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
