No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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