found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Boobs are out for the taking
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
