So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
