i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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