Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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