it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize