The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
