I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
