i don't like sucking hair
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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