talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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