I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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