The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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