Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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