I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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