I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
