Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize