he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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