unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
