Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
