the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The uberlube is also flammable
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
