Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize