Who did Billy Mays play for?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
