Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize