Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
