I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
