how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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